No longer lost
She lay there a wakeless vision repeated in nights caress..
Her thoughts controlled her as ever,
on forcing her lids shut she may force herself into a dream of visions
escaping her nightmare..
Would it make a difference?
upon wakening she would need to face up to the reality
Isn't reality the real nightmare?
A dream is just an illusion after all.
Where can a dream take her..
they were her final thoughts as she prepared herself
for her life to cave in around her.
She wasn't feared by endings..
A bird landed on her window.
It did not feel like a dream anymore
more like a promise of forever
awake never gave her that feeling.
Always some distraction
controlling her mind from its free spirit.
It was there in the blinding of the lights she felt him
She focused,
her sight seemed powerless
She wouldn't need it anyway..
her heart saw him way before her sight ever did.
She knew that more than ever now
even though the world seemed darker in colour since his closure.
..and she warmed within his arms, she felt there touch
as it melted from the oneness of her very being
Why can't she see him yet???
and the smelling of his scent caused her to regret,
regret that she never smelt until now.
An appreciation overwhelmed every inch of her body.
Did it even feel like her body belonged to her anymore?
It felt owing to be his body
as she prepared to give everything she ever was
to him.
Embraced in security it can only mean love.
Timeless she lay there but still she felt not
for this moment was more than real ever could be.
Real was fake to this.
She was interrupted by his voice
and this was the only thing that confirmed imagination was far away
imagination can't talk?
But it was more music than voice
It had tones and beats , rhythm of a tomorrow
Its emotion filled through her heart faster than blood.
His meaning adjoined to the warmth she was experiencing.
Was this warmth hers or his?
Was there even a difference?
Its guidance would show her the way.
She didn't need to force her lids shut anymore
she could open them with ease
for she knew it was time.
The feeling of his warmth, she knew informed her of such.
He would never let her down.
A nightmare was never her plan, nor his.
They opened.
She saw him.
His beauty made shy the bright lights
making them seem pitch dark.
His eyes were a mirror.
She looked into them.
They contained life's meaning as they stared back at her.
He smiled and its radiance shot across her soul
exchanging life for death would never seem fairer
if that was the option.
Awe replaced every breathe of air in her body.
It's only when he held out his hand
It stopped her from choking.
The music transformed .
Tones, beats, and rhythm were replaced by words.
and he spoke :
''You and I were never separate
It's just an illusion
Wrought by the magical lens of perception
Heaven is here
Right now, this moment of Eternity
Don't fool yourself
Reclaim your Bliss''
I could see him perfect now
I had never seen him so clearly
I thought I knew him so well
I didn't know him at all
until now.
Found, I realised in the reflection of myself within his eyes
that
dreaming , in fact -
wasn't an illusion after all.
and together,
we walked hand in hand into the light welcoming forever.
Dear Áine...
ReplyDeleteI'm blessed to know you and have the pleasure to read such a beautiful and perfect reflection! It's so heart touching!
It's the deepest one I've ever read! You have a beautiful soul just like Michael, and I'm amazed by the ability you have to turn into words all the feelings you save in your heart!
I'm emotional too! You know, beautiful things just make me cry! In a good way!
You're a great writer and u can be sure Michael is feeling all the love you're sending through your beautiful and lovely words!
So much L.O.V.E....
Pri
that was beautiful!! Your words are very touching, made me cry. You have a true talent, dont ever stop. You keep Michael's heart and soul alive through your words!
ReplyDeletePeace and Love
krismac :)
(from mena)
ReplyDeleteAine, my god!!
You have far surpassed me.. throughout the reflection i had this feeling of floating through this endless tunnel of darkness.. till the light at the end, when you and him walked together hand in hand.. wow.. this is such a blissful piece!i totally understand that you felt cured cuz well, this actually heals all pain. your words bring about the much needed hope tht we all need, dear.. okay, let me starrt from the beginning.. Gosh, i am so excited.. (:(:
"She lay there a wakeless vision repeated in night's
caress"this gives me goosebumps.. whether you meant to or not, you actually wrote down poetically how i feel every single time i go to bed.. wakeless.. not wanting to wake up.. the same mundance is haunting us night after night..
"Isn't reality the real nightmare? A dream was just an illusion after all." i swear, at this line i feel my heart drop.. such a deep impact! that is how painful normal life is, huh.. without magic and love! such sadness in just two lines, amazing!!
I LOVE the whole of the second stanza.. "where can a dream take her.. she prepared herself for her life to cave in around her.. wasn't feared by endings.." i felt the sarcasm of common sense at the first line, like it is challenging your heart, where can you escape to? you have to come back to reality anyhow..
But then your heart must have answered, i don't mind dying, anything, anything to escape this torture of "pragmatism and street smart life"! (sorry if i assumed wrong,.. because those third and last lines reminded me of my own poem.. i wrote "every night i wait to die for the night" )
"A bird landed on her window" --> wow! you just jumped into the scene, i love that.. it's almost like the common sense voice of the mind just disappeared, as your dream won out in the end..
"more like a promise of forever...always some distraction controlling her mind from its free spirit"-- now you sound like an age old wise lady: our souls and minds may never agree.. for those who did, they were truly lucky.. that struggle we go through with these two beings in ourselves teach us the lesson of life.. sometimes he heart joins in as well(: we are tugged three ways!
i love the phrase "promise of forever" there is just so much in those three words.. forever, eternity, for all time, love, companionship, soulmates.. wow! can think of so many words!
ReplyDeletenow i like this next part: she feels him in the blinding lights.. his presence is so magnificent, that she cannot see him.. OR, she couldn't see him at first, because she didn't understand him.. who he was or why he appeared to her. but later, she says:
"She saw him.
His beauty made shy the bright lights
making them seem pitch dark" i love the irony here.. when she closed her eyes, she couldn't see him in bright lights! but when she opened them, she could see him, and he shamed the lights with his brighter presence.. wow! and she saw him finally even admist all those blinding lights because she knows why he is here, she belongs with him.. she understands him and loves him.. wow, aine.. i love this part so so much!!! i just had to skip the few stanzas to get here! will go back now..
when you disregard your sight, it makes me think that your throwing away all physical pretense.. because as much as the eyes are a gift to us, they are the primary reason for people to judge and be cruel to one another.. "her sight seemed powerless; she wouldn't need it anyway.."
"even though the world seemed darker in colour since his closure" that reinforces that point.. physically, the world seems to be darker to us because he is no longer here.. another reason why sight is powerless. But in spirit, he is there, burning brighter than ever, begging us to look and learn.. that's what your heart sees.. ((((:
I like the way you use the word "within" instead of "in his arms" it gives me the sense of you being inside of him, not just with him.. like you're another part of him(:
it's also funny how she feels the touch melting from HER very being.. that's another strong sign that michael is part of you.. like you right hand touching your left hand, when he touches you feel like you were touched but that touch Came from YOU, so you both are actually one!! WOW!! I AM BLOWN AWAY NOW!!!
"she felt there touch
as it melted from the oneness of her very being"
*am resisting temptation to analyse every single line, hehe*
ReplyDelete"and the smelling of his scent caused her to regret,
regret that she never smelt until now"--> aine, smelt his regret? genius line!! people usually feel regret but you have taken it to a whole new level.. it's like every part of your being can feel for him.. lovely!
ohhhh i saw that coming!! now i cannot stop smiling... "did it even feel like her body belonged to her anymore? it felt owing to be his body"--> what i first thought when i read this line was, how come she isn't feeling what is happening to her, by herself?? it almost feels like it's michael who is asking her the question.. does your body feel like yours anymore? because spiritually, we are all one... <3
"as she prepared to give everything she ever was to him" i adore this line, aine, because this is love.. no, not sacrifice, she doesn't need to sacrifice.. he is already part of her so there is nothing to give.. she is just going back to him.. back to where she came from: love...
"timeless she lay there but still she felt not; for this moment was more than real could ever be" i love this line, am speechless to describe it.. it's a most beautiful line aine.. esp :more than real could ever be.. how beautiful that experience must be, for you to write that.. wow! speechless..
"but it was more music than voice... his meaning adjoined to the warmth she was experiencing"--> the first line is like telling us, he is music.. remember dancing the dream where he often mentions the dance and music of creation?? well, this line made me think, now he is part of that magnificent dance and music.. was that your reference too?
and that last line: how could you make a simple sentence like 'she felt warm because he was there' into that lovely, lovely line??? i am so impressed! poetry flows through you indeed!!
ReplyDelete"rhythm of a tomorrow".. like he is teaching you that music of creation.. for you to take with yourself through your journey of life.. (: (:
again, the questions: this time i am certain, that deep inside its michael who's asking you, whose warmth is it aine? can you tell? does it matter? we are one.. " ohh, how i love this concept that he is one and the same as you.. (:
"she didn't need to force her lids shut anymore" because she is brave to face the world now.. right?? (:
"he would never let her down" of course, girl, how could he ever? he knows how much you need him, and he is always there!
"his eyes were a mirror" i like this image.. it brings forth to mind the old adage "eyes are windows to the soul" and even though his eyes are windows to his soul, they are still mirrors you, reflecting you, showing you your own soul. how beautiful is that!
"exchanging life for death would never seem fairer" wow... that is a painful line.. how i wish to.. :( death, if that were the only way to be with him! but then he proves us wrong. my heart skipped a beat when i saw you had included his Heaven is Here verse!! it's soooo perfect for this moment in your time.. how apt, dear! he changes your perception from death to acceptance with those words.. (:
"awe replaced every breath of air in her body; its only when he held out his hand; it stopped her from choking" i love this image.. its cute and funny, and it's an image that only you will fit.. what did you have in mind as you wrote these lines?? i'd love to know...
you don't need death to go to him.. heaven is here, he says. right now in this moment of eternity. aine, you are a true genius, how cleverly you twist his words to fit your poem.. in this place where you are, at neither heaven nor earth, neither dreams nor reality, he is promising you that he and you are one.. and this is that moment of eternity.. wow!!!! i am so so so amazed by this! OMG girl! you shouldn't even be nervous about this great work of art!!! AHHHHH!!!
that last stanza: "i thought i knew him so well; i didn't know him at all" that's michael.. it also holds an inner meaning, that we have to keep finding for our Selves, our true form and purpose..
ReplyDelete"Found, I realised in the reflection of myself within his eyes
that
dreaming , in fact -
wasn't an illusion after all."
stunning! absolutelt stunning.. wow! it's like after all this time you just came back to your being out of his eyes! from his soul.. aine.. you see yourself coming out of his soul.. that's so touching *tears*
"and together, we walked hand in hand into the light welcoming forever" yay!!! *jumps up and down* this is such a happy image! i love how you ended this with a happy image.. i am not sure if she is joining michael, or going back to her life, but if she is going back to her life, she has a tight hold on michael's hands.. facing life together, after all that suffering.. waiting for forever.. wow..
*sobs* it makes my heart ache, aine.. maybe it was michael writing through you.. i know you've been going through much pain, and now you feel cured emotionally.. perhaps physically too.. that's why this makes even more sense, it's like throwing the physicality away.. for we are not beings with souls, but souls in a physical manifestation that won't last.. (: our souls are forever..
ReplyDeletei hope you hold on to this light that michael has given you, and wrap it around your heart so that you'll never feel cold again. wish i was there in ireland, so i can give you a hug and tell you how much i appreciate this reflection and how beautiful it is.. great, great job, aine.. michael is proud of you, i know.(:
(i hope i didnt offend you or anythin with my interpretation of your work, it may be inaccurate to what you felt at the time of writing it, but maybe it will provide you with a new angle to it. you're so much talented, i feel i can learn so much from you.. (: i've never sat down and analysed this much before it swept me off my feet.. hehe. again, great job, aine:D)
mena, who is currently in love with this reflection((:
wow!! this is undoubtably your finest work!! soooo many beautiful lines!!! mena's reflection then helped to summarise my thoughts with a very deep analysis and is interesting to see someone else's interpretation too!!
ReplyDeletewow that is an amazing piece of writing though!!
"Isn't reality the real nightmare?
A dream is just an illusion after all"
the irony is breathtkaing, so simple a line but such phenominal impact!! really makes ya just stop and think!!
"her heart saw him way before her sight ever did." = a beautiful definition of love!
in fact im quite astounded and speechless by the flow of each magical word!
ITS REALLY GREAT!! :)
aine dear: I really love this...first u thought and dreamed about him, then u felt his presence, then u smell him (I remember how much u wish u could sniff his belongings at the exhibition!), the u heard him..and finally u saw him....the sequence couldn´t be more perfect. And his words for you....god..my eyes are watering....If I was wearing a hat I would take it off to you. (sorry my english..u know I suck..but I think u will understand it anyway).
ReplyDeleteAbrazo de oso amistoso! (friendly bear hug)
Ceci♥
this is great...
ReplyDeletei'm sorry it took me forever to comment...
sweet writing...